How I Overcame Broken Trust to Win Back Love: A DCE (Dream–Capacity–Execution) Solution
Winning Back Love After Betrayal: A DCE Framework Solution
3L SHIFT DCE Solution
The Dilemma
💔 Summary of the Dilemma
I lied to my girlfriend and her family about my past — I was previously married with 3 kids, jobless, and homeless. She forgave me, supported me, and helped me rebuild, but her parents now refuse to accept me back. She says if they accept me, we can marry — otherwise she’s done. I love her and don’t want to lose her.
📜 View Full Detailed Dilemma
I met my girlfriend 3 years ago and quickly made my intentions known to her parents. However, I was hiding a painful truth — I had been married with 3 kids, but separated, and I was jobless and homeless. I lied about my past, my job, and my family, and she only discovered the truth later.
She broke down in tears, but forgave me. She gave me shelter, helped me restart, and even supported me as I got a new job and began taking care of my children. Her parents, however, were deeply hurt and ordered her to leave me. She obeyed them and moved out. Despite trying to separate, we keep coming back to each other. She has made countless sacrifices, even having 3 abortions for me, but also caught me cheating multiple times.
Now that my first wife has refused to come back, I want to marry her — but she says her parents must approve first. I love her deeply and don’t want to lose her, but her parents are still angry and won’t accept me. How can I approach this situation and win back their trust so I can marry her?
3L SHIFT + DCE Solution
✨ Summary of the Solution
🔹 Letting Out — Dream
Allow yourself to grieve the broken trust and dream of a restored future — a clean start with honesty, stability, and acceptance from her family.
🔹 Letting Go — Capacity
Take full responsibility and stop all cheating. Build credibility — show consistent change, counseling, and commitment to your children. Prepare a humble apology plan to her parents backed with proof of growth.
🔹 Letting In — Execution
Execute reconciliation: approach her parents respectfully with her present, show your transformation, request forgiveness, and invite them to bless the union. Continue counseling and faithfulness as proof of long-term change.
📘 View Full Detailed DCE Solution
Letting Out (Dream): Start by accepting that your lies broke trust, and grieve that damage. Visualize the life you want — being a faithful husband, a responsible father, and a man accepted by her family.
Letting Go (Capacity): Stop every behavior that reinforces their doubts. Be transparent about your past, attend counseling or mentorship, and maintain financial and emotional stability. Prepare a clear, humble apology to her parents that includes your progress — stable job, supporting your kids, and faithfulness to their daughter.
Letting In (Execution): With her help, arrange a respectful meeting with her parents. Acknowledge the hurt you caused, show them tangible proof of change, and ask for a chance to prove your commitment. Even if they resist initially, keep showing consistent change. Enroll in DCE Coaching to get structured support through this process of rebuilding trust and executing your new future.
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